My End of September Cemetery Adventure

Life is strange at my age or maybe at any age. In one day, I can be happy or sad, anxious or calm, excited or dreading something, tired or wide awake. You never know what you will get. I think I spend so much time in my own head I'm not sure either. Today I was all of the above. Many of you know that my parents had a tradition of decorating the cemeteries. They would go in the spring around Memorial Day and then pick up the baskets by October 1. It was very important to them. When they died, I felt it was my duty as the oldest child to do the same. Sometimes unspoken guilt runs deep, and I am not even Catholic. 

Today was one of those days filled with many emotions. I was happy to wake up feeling good but sad I had to drive 2 hours and 15 minutes each way to cemeteries of all places . I wish I had a travel partner or driver many times in my life but especially today. Today everyone was busy and it is almost October 1 so I had to go alone. Next is was foggy so I had to make a decision to stay home or do I go. I was anxious because of the fog, but calm when it lifted about an hour after leaving. I was excited to get out of the house and see some nice scenery but dreading the drive. Sirus radio plays the same songs over and over and I didn't have a book to listen to. I wasn't tired and was pretty wide awake so that wasn't an issue. You see what I mean about being up and down with my feelings or emotions, but I put on my big girl panties and just did it. 

As I made the drive, I saw so many photo opportunities. I saw an eagle eating a carcass, I saw a hundred birds sitting on a wire, I saw turkeys and hawks, I saw an eagle in a tree with a juvenile eagle, I saw a long train and a beautiful trestle, I saw sandhill cranes in flight and many other things. I was driving and not able to pull off for any of them. That isn't exactly true. I stopped on a country road and took some photos of the trees. The colors are getting gorgeous in Central Wisconsin. The Tamarack trees are still green but the other trees are brilliant. I also got an out of focus picture of the juvenile eagle. I was trying to take the photo quickly and a man in a pick up came along slowly staring me down. I'm sure he was thinking "she ain't from around here". I left quickly. An out of focus photo is better than none at all.

AND so with everything in life, nothing is as bad as it seems. The trip was fun and easy. I bought a big Coke and a breakfast sandwich like I was on vacation. Except for the fog, everything went perfectly. The baskets were in good shape so I am glad I salvaged them. If I hadn't retrieved them the cemetery would have thrown them away. I didn't talk to a soul (except my parents and grandparents in the cemetery). Oh I did say thank you to the check out person at Kwik Trip. Right now I am happy, calm, not dreading anything and wide awake. Cokes will do that for you. This was going to be a downer type day that turned out pretty darn good.

I Might Believe in Mary Worth-The Second Salem

Given it's September 26, 2026 and it's the full moon, I think it is a good time to recall this memory. I just learned where the Spiritual Hub of America is, or at least was at one time. Can you guess? I didn't know either, but incidents in my past now make sense. It is Whitewater, Wisconsin. In the 19th century, Whitewater was called the "Second Salem.”

My grandson is attending the University of Wisconsin- Whitewater. He was telling his mom about people who go to the cemetery to conjure up spirits. It is tradition to go to the cemetery and it reminded me that sixty years ago I did that too. I also attended UW Whitewater although back then it was called Whitewater State University. It wasn't until 1971 that it became part of the University of Wisconsin system. 

I would never do this now, but in 1966 I was nineteen years old and we would also visit the cemetery. We would go after dark and would say "I believe in Mary Worth".  We would listen for spirits to answer back and swore we saw and heard the voice of Mary Worth. We didn't have the internet to research the subject and it never occurred to any of us to look up the origin. It was just tradition. On top of that, a few of the people from my floor would sit around and use the Ouija board. These boards were originally invented as a harmless game which was "was born directly out of the same 19th century American Spiritualism movement that fueled towns like Whitewater.” Now I see spiritual posts and people who say they would never touch one of those boards, but we looked at it like an innocent game. We would ask it all kinds of questions, like the name of the person we would marry. Believe it or not, my roommate and I both married people with the name the Ouija board predicted. I don't know when we quit, but it did get a little creepy. We went to college without all the modern conveniences today’s kids have. Thank goodness because who knows what would have happened. We had a record player and a hot pot. At night when we were sleeping, the record player would turn on by itself. Or a voice would come into our room over the intercom when the office downstairs was closed. My roommate was in the bathroom and the shower came on in another area and no one else was in there. There were weird feelings at times but we never made the connection between the spirits we invited in and the fact that Whitewater was a Spiritual Hub. Maybe that is why they tore my dorm down. It might have been haunted. We don't know if others in the building had similar experiences because no one talked about it. I think it was probably torn down for expansion but the other explanation makes for a fun story.  

My grandson was nice enough to get some pictures for me. There is the cemetery but there is also the Starin Park Water Tower (1889). It is still there surrounded by a fence. We are not sure if the fence is to keep people out or to keep spirits in.

There are three cemeteries in Whitewater. They make the "witches triangle". They are Calvary Cemetery on the north side of the campus, Oak Grove Cemetery near Washington Elementary school and Hillside Cemetery near Cravath Lake. Calvary Cemetery near campus has been known to have lights floating around. There was a big temperature change that could be felt when entering the cemetery. I wonder if the lights were just college kids with flashlights, but who am I to say? The temperature change was real. 

The Oak Grove Cemetery is the resting place for Mary Worth. She supposedly was an axe murderer. We would call up the ghost of Mary Worth, never knowing that she was an axe murderer and it seems we were even in the wrong cemetery. We could have sworn we saw and heard her. 

The last cemetery was Hillside Cemetery. The grave of Morris Pratt can be found there. Pratt, who died in 1902, was a prominent Spiritualist and the founder of what would eventually become the Morris Pratt Institute. In 1889, he opened the Temple of Psychic Science in Whitewater, which is a large building dedicated to the practice and study of Spiritualism. After Pratt’s death, the temple became the Morris Pratt Institute, a school devoted to the study and teaching of Spiritualism. The Whitewater Historical Society has an interesting article on this. It is way too much information to paraphrase but here is the link. It's very good. https://www.whitewaterhistoricalsociety.org/post/ spiritualism-the-morris-pratt-institute  Another good article can be found here: https://blogs.uww.edu/ucinfo/2021/10/18/morris-pratt-and-the-temple-of-psychic-science-in-whitewater/  The Institute has since moved to Waukesha, Wisconsin but is still dedicated to the study of spiritualism. 

Whether I believe in Spiritualism or not won't be discussed here. I am sure there are people who consider it the work of the devil and there are others who are totally in step with its energy. The fact there was a school devoted to it is very interesting to me. If you want to read more about Whitewater Wisconsin Spiritualism there is a lot of information on the internet. Maybe it's good I didn't know all the details, it might have frightened me to death. Now it has made me fascinated with something that took me sixty years to learn.   

A Star Was Never Born but She Tried

Hopefully I haven't told these stories already. I have written at length about being sick as a baby more than once. My only hope is that if I can't remember what I wrote in 987 blogs, then maybe no one else can either. 

My granddaughter called today. It is always nice talking to her since we don't do it too often. She was talking about my last blog and said I looked like a little diva. That was a shock. I never thought of myself as a diva, but maybe I was back then. I did do things that would shock the people that know the person I became.

For example, I had the lead role in a performance of "The Little Red Hen". When I was in first grade, we did the play. Maybe the other grades did a play too, but I was focused on my special role. I practiced singing the lines accompanied with the piano. My mom's friend was an elementary school teacher and she helped me. We performed on stage at the local armory. It was a big deal. It was so big that I have no memory of it except practicing and how cold the teacher's hands were when she pinned the name on my dress. I guess we didn't have costumes. I draw a complete blank about anything else. We have no pictures of this special occasion but I am pretty sure I didn't dream it. I guess I shut down during difficult times even back then. 

I do remember the story and part of the song.

"Cut, cut, cut cadacket said the little hen, see my little yellow chickens 8, 9, 10" and "then I will do it myself". That last statement was a bit of foreshadowing for my life. I still am not comfortable with asking for help and at my age, I really do need it.

The next thing that surprised her was that I took singing and piano lessons. She said maybe you are more like your grandchildren than you thought. I didn't go very far with these lessons because I didn't have the courage to perform in public but it did me well in college when I had to take music classes. That was not the case for my husband. Poor Mike couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. We used to play games in the car where he would hum a song, and I would try to guess it. I couldn't guess most of the time. His go to song was Country Road by John Denver and I usually got that right. He had to take music classes also and one professor actually had him stick his head down in the piano to try to mimic a sound. He practiced "Go Tell Aunt Rhody, the Old Gray Goose is Dead" on the piano many times in order to get a passing grade. Good thing they had music teachers when he actually became a teacher. I miss that side of my husband that very few people saw. He had his stern teacher look but was a softy on the inside and he sure loved his girls.

I sure wish I had pictures of this. The Danish side of my family was very musical. I know I have mentioned this before but my mom could play the piano by ear. She could hear a song and play it. Many of her siblings could do the same and sing along. Some had offers to be professionals. My grandpa had a lot of songs from the old country he would sing all the time. Maybe that's where two of my grandsons, Dylan and Jack got that talent from. They sing all the time. You always know where they are because they are singing. My daughters also love to sing and dance. I guess if you have the beat in your genes, it has to come out somehow. 

Who knows what other memories will emerge. They say old people start remembering the past more than the present.  Stay tuned, who knows what I will remember.

A Blast from the Past

Before I give up the writing of this blog completely, I have been thinking of some old stories from my life that my grandchildren would like to hear. They have no idea what life was like in the late 1940's and through 1999. Or what it was like on January 1, 2000 (Y2K) when we thought the world would end or at the very least all technology would go to black. Nothing happened but it was stressful. Us older individuals couldn't imagine we would live to see the world as it is today. 

 This was our family picture from 1951. People dressed up. In the 1950's women wore dresses. My mom wore house dresses and aprons. I remember up until the 1960's women very rarely wore pants. It was 1966 when the pantsuit was debuted. I remember my grandma wearing pants to go fishing once in a while, but she almost always wore a cotton house dress. Looking back on it, she probably wore my grandpas pants so she didn't get her dresses dirty when they were fishing. Women did not have several pair of pants. Men and women did not wear athletic shoes. It wasn't until the 1960's when I remember getting white Keds. They were tennis shoes and were about the only shoes of that type people wore. We started to wear pedal pushers (today they are called capris), we wore shorts and even blue jeans on occasion. Times were changing. Men did not wear blue jeans in the 1950's but wore slacks and dress shoes. The kids can't believe I had to wear dresses to school. When you knelt down the hem had to touch the floor. No short skirts were allowed. I think that changed in the late 1960's and 1970's, but in 1965 when I graduated those were the rules. The boys had to have their shirts tucked in, wear belts and slacks. We definitely had a dress code. I grew up right on the edge of a fashion change. Now anything goes.

Food was also different many years ago. Food was real and rarely did anyone have an allergy to nuts or gluten. As food companies tried to make bigger profits, they added color, fake flavors and highly processed oils. Additives were added to animal feed for quick growth and weed killer put in the soil for higher yield. In the 1950's hardly anyone went out to eat. We ate at home. McDonald's started back then but it was a big deal. All the other modern fast food restaurants didn't exist. In fact as gross as it sounds my dad hunted squirrels, rabbits, deer and clunked frogs for meat. I can't imagine eating that stuff now, but that was part of our diet. Believe it or not, I can remember when pizza parlors opened up. Now pizza is as common as bread.

There was no such thing as a shopping mall. There were a few stores like Sears, hardware stores. grocery stores, pharmacies, a dime store and general all purpose stores but a lot of people ordered out of catalogs. The mail order catalogs like Montgomery Ward and Sears were how we got our clothes. The United States postal service was dependable back then. Now it takes more than a week to mail something two miles, if it arrives at all.

Grocery stores gave out something called Green Stamps. After every shopping trip we would put the stamps in books. When we had collected enough books, we would travel to Illinois and trade in the books for household goods. My parents got a television, table lamps which I still have, and a variety of other things for the house. While in Illinois we would buy a case of Oleo margarine. The margarine was white and it contained a orange button that would be kneaded into the oleo to make it yellow and look like butter. Wisconsin, the dairy state, didn't allow margarine so a lot of people went to Illinois. Looking back it had to be very unhealthy, but it was cheap. I felt really rich when we were able to buy "real butter". 

Entertainment was different too. Of course there were no smart phones or computers. Imagine having to look things up in an encyclopedia or another reference book. We didn't even have a television until I was around 8. The TV channels came on at 4pm and went off at midnight (maybe even earlier). There were only a few major TV networks with news programs and variety shows.  People went to the movie theater to see movies. Then came DVD's and CD's and now you can stream almost any movie at anytime. 

There are so many examples of how things have changed in the past seventy years. I never thought I would live to see what has happened. It was all science fiction. Buck Rogers from around 1930 was about space travel and communication devices. All imagination that could never happen. I remember having to read the book 1984 by George Orwell and big brother watching us. 1984 was 42 years ago. Good lord. Now big brother watches and listens to us everyday.

I can't even begin to remember all the differences in my lifetime. It boggles the mind. The kids now days can't identify with any of this. I don't even know anyone over the age of five that doesn't have a smart phone. Some children have them by the time they go to kindergarten. They are most peoples' entertainment. I hate it but I am one of them. If I forget my phone, I almost panic. We didn't even have answering machines and caller ID was an extra cost that wasn't necessary. We managed and even lived to tell about it. No wonder everyone has anxiety. We didn't know everything about everything, so life was calmer. Maybe it's a good thing I am old. My brain is full.

Back To Kefir After Nine Years

On September 10, 2014 (12 years ago) I wrote an update about the Kefir I drank to get my probiotics. https://www.thecabincountess.com/2014/09/update-of-my-kefir-miracle.html  This link and the links included in this blog tell about what happened, when I started and how I got into kefir. I shared grains with others and was very into it for a long time, but then life took over. In 2017 I froze some of these grains to take a little break. Supposedly frozen grains can last from six months to a year. As with most kicks I get into these days, I forgot about them. I still took probiotics but none were as good. I was going to order more but never did. https://www.thecabincountess.com/2012/12/the-miracle-of-kefir.html

Fast forward to my refrigerator fiasco. When the refrigerator failed, I had to clean out the old one. Lo and behold, there in the bottom of the freezer was a bag that contained my frozen kefir grains. These grains were almost nine years old. 

Most of the old stuff I found got thrown away and I almost threw them away, but decided to add milk and see what happened. I read that these grains could take up to ten days before you could tell if they were dead. To my surprise, by the 2nd day they were active. I tossed the first couple days of kefir in case it tasted like freezer, but after that the kefir has been delicious. 

I have learned something from this. I only make what I can drink in a few days. As the grains increase in size and amount, I can freeze a few and share with who ever wants to monkey around with doing this. Most people don't want to do it, so they accumulate. The rest I can feed to the animals or toss. I was always worried about getting rid of them and made so much more kefir than I could drink. It got to be overwhelming so this is a game changer. If I get sick of doing it, I will can put more grains in the freezer for an undetermined amount of time. For now this is great. 

This is totally off the subject and a little aside. When the men delivered my refrigerator, one of them saw my Big Foot wind chime. He asked if I ever see Big Foot out here. The other guy said he was from the city and never saw a property like mine. I guess we take so much for granted. I didn't know if I should laugh or if this person was serious. I should have greeted him with this hat. That would have really made him wonder. 

Self Reflection at Age 78

This is another blog where I am doing some self reflection. It is not something everyone needs to read or is even interested in. It is a blog so my friends and family can understand me just a little more.

 Who is this person I have become? Some days I don't even recognize her. Maybe that is what becoming "mature" means. I am almost 79 years old. I actually am starting to like myself. It took me a little longer than most people, but I have arrived or at least getting close. Experiences along my path have brought me here, and I like it. I am often underestimated and that used to bother me. I would be very self deprecating, but today I will just say thank you. I would often do that to make others feel better, but it backfired most of the time. 

When I was born and only two weeks old, I developed pneumonia. They say my fever was 108 degrees. I am not sure that was true, but this was the dark ages and equipment was probably not that precise. Anyway, I was rushed to the hospital by the doctor who came to the house and with his own car took me there. That would never happen in this day and age. He had been to a seminar on a new drug called Penicillin. They gave me an adult dose and I lived. My parents were so happy, they protected me from that point forward until I left home. It was out of love, but I wasn't allowed to do things other kids could do. If it made me uncomfortable, I didn't have to do it. I never learned to fall and get up, dust myself off and continue on. It sounds like I was spoiled. I was not. I had to follow the rules. Kids were seen and not heard, we couldn't embarrass anyone or really say what we thought.

I started out in college wanting to be a teacher, but decided that wasn't for me. My parents let me switch. The degree I eventually got wasn't worth anything. Who cares if you can speedwrite, type or conjugate verbs. My mom did a lot of the talking for me so I never developed social skills either. As a result, I was a late bloomer. In defense of my mom, she lost her mom when she was 13 and had to live in a rooming house for high school and grow up fast. She thought she could protect me from all of the hardship she endured. What was meant to be love was a detriment. 

I didn't think it would take me this long to find myself and it was a long process. Just getting married at almost 21 was wonderful. It forced me to do adult things, have babies and become closer to my true self.  My husband started out taking care of most things like phone calls, house repairs, buying the cars etc. but  gradually I took over the household budget, school stuff, doctor appointments and adult things. I always hated calling people but I did it. I probably sounded like an idiot at times, but I did it. Maybe that's the plan. I have now bought a car, I have to make all the phone calls and arrange for everything. Life teaches us things even if we don't want to learn.

I never wanted my daughters to feel like I did, so I made sure they would be involved in activities, have friends and succeed. I made them competitive in subtle ways. Every night when they were little we would race to see who could get their pajamas on first. It was a game and I always won. They thought I was a magician because no matter how hard they would try, I won. It was a fun memory they both remember to this day. I would have them call for pizza, go get ice from the ice machine in a hotel and be in charge of their own activities. I was supportive for whatever (or mostly) they chose, but they did it themselves. If they wanted to be in all the sports or student council or a class officer, we supported them. Of course all kids are different. My daughter tried these games with her kids and it didn't work. They weren't going to play the pajama game. They thought it was so dumb. My girls were raised before technology changed everything. We were all a little naive and that was a wonderful time to raise kids and for them to grow up. 

Before phones my daughter would read by the light of her fish tank. I wondered why she wanted a fish tank so bad. It was part of her plan to read late into the night. They made stilts out of an old ladder to a bunk bed. They skated in the street and built forts in the back yard. They hardly watched TV and played outside for hours. None of the kids were overweight. They might come in for a brief snack but never hunkered down in their rooms. 

Now I am in the final chapters of my life. I am grateful I lived a long life. I have a lot more I want to do. I will as long as I am given the opportunity and my health stays good. I have learned that people either like me or they don't. That isn't my problem anymore. I like me. Others have their own demons or at the very least deep ideas and emotions to overcome. I can't do that for them. Since I live a quiet life, my intuition is pretty darn good. I forgive almost anything because dwelling on it only poisons me, and I am not the one who made the miscue. This is a hard one, but I don't dwell on all this negative thinking either. I just can't. If someone acts inappropriate, they are the one looking bad. Sometimes people don't even know they are hurting your feelings or they make a decision they think will be helpful, but it's taken all wrong. Misinterpretation is a huge problem and the cause of all sorts of feuds. Keep your mouth shut if it isn't kind or helpful and let others figure it out. As Popeye would say "I yam what I yam and dats all that I yam.” I think it's a good place to be.

August 24th, My Day to Remember

Today would have been my 58th wedding anniversary. It's a day I will always remember. We were so young and not very worldly, but life is a journey and we managed just fine. We can't change anything, but we can learn to live with it. I learned something important along the way. From 1968 until 2021 was my book of life. It was a great book. There were some wonderful chapters and some sad times. I am very happy my book was written during this time frame. It was without all the outside influences the young people of today have to face. Granted they have a smaller world that we had no idea about, but we weren't constantly on the treadmill of life. It was a sweet and calmer time.

Now I am in my sequel. It is a much different life book from the first one we wrote. Five years ago it began and has been a little slow at getting to the good part. I have met people who are on their own journeys and are writing their own books of life. I have found that some who lost their long time spouse jump back in before they are ready. These people haven't grieved and are constantly searching for their old life back. Others hide the rest of their life, but most try to establish a new normal. The old book of life can be taken out and read occasionally. A new book can't replace this book, but it can be a good book. I was under the assumption that this new book would be a calm and an easy read. Nothing is further from the truth. I still have to work through stuff everyday. Some people are lucky enough to find another friend or partner to navigate life's challenges, while others are on their own. Either way it's all good. 

I had to buy a refrigerator recently, get an oil change, find people to help me out with some homeowner challenges and hope every decision I make doesn't create more problems. Those are things none of us can predict. Some days I am very sad and lonely and other days I am so grateful for the life my first book provided. 

How my sequel ends is a mystery. It may be a short book or long and interesting. Some of that is up to me and some depends on who or what shows up to my story.  My challenge is to remain engaged and not revert to my chair and the television. My needs are simple, but I still have to remain inquisitive about the world around me.